Coping in times of grief.

Hey Friends,

I feel I need to share something with you. A few weeks ago I lost someone very close to me, a dear friend.We met when we were 14 (actually she was the first person to get me to ride a roller coaster since the 1999 Scorpion Disaster,) and we met in online high school. At first she was my biology partner for a project.Then she became my closest friend, even though we were hours apart.

She didn’t know it but she and her family changed me forever after the day we met up. I had a hard time making friends since moving to Orlando and by connecting and befriending me she gave me the confidence to open myself up and make new friends, however scary  it was.

We remained friends ever since, she came to visit me when her dad had conferences in Orlando, we would play in the pool and gossip about boys. Later on in life I had the pleasure of attending her wedding where she married the love of her life. Fast forward 3 years and she was helping me build my furniture for my first apartment. When we were together it felt like we were 14 again, and no matter how long it had been since we saw each other, time never broke our connection. Her family is my family. Her siblings are like my siblings. We shared our lives together, and it made all the difference.

But life isn’t just about boy gossip and IKEA furniture. It also comes with hardships. My friend got sick, and there’s no instruction manual on how to get better. Sometimes she was, sometimes she wasn’t. For a while things looked way up, but you could still tell in her eyes that she was in pain. So when I got the call that she had been admitted into the hospital, and things weren’t looking good, I hated myself because in the back of my (our)  mind (whether anyone wanted to admit…which we of course did NOT,) we saw the clock ticking. Things aren’t looking too good.  My heart aches as I type this, as I actually feel like there’s a gap in my heart that’s been taken from me. I curse myself for not going up there (she didn’t want visitors, it hit too close to home that she might be saying her goodbyes) but her dad’s words resounded with me: There is something to be said in remembering her how she was. I know that’s what she would have wanted, but it hurts so much knowing that she’ll never answer the phone again.

I know how grief goes. I know the mourning process. But when you lose a close CLOSE friend? That’s a whole new level of grief. I am going to miss the sound of her voice, the way she tickled her siblings too hard, and her absolute adoration for all things Disney. She was my sister, my family and will always be.

If anyone in the family is reading this, please know I love you so very much. Thank you for keeping in constant contact with me and my mother. 

For those in my prayer group who prayed for her vigorously, thank you from the bottom of all our hearts, it is a relief to know she is no longer hurting and can now rest in peace.

It sound’s so cliche, but time really is precious. Please do me a favor and call or text your best friend after reading this and tell them how much you love them. They need to hear it, just as much as you need to tell them.

It’s comforting knowing that whenever I approach Cinderellas Castle, she will be there in spirit. Rest in peace sweet K, I will love you forever.

Stay grateful dear readers,

-J

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